Politics

I have lost a lot of motivation toward schoolwork and athletics because of "politics."

I'm not talking about the 2008 Presidential elections, i'm talking about social politics- the kind that favor some people over others.

Coaches, teachers, bosses: these authority figures, regardless of the objectivity they promise, play favorites.

As a student and athlete it's hard to manuever around these politics without losing a sense of self. I have been criticized by my coaches for being disrespectful because my personality rubs off on them the wrong way. I don't understand how to talk to my coach unless it's about the game, and I don't understand why I have to make this deep relationship with someone who should only be there for one purpose (at least in my mind): coaching.

So, as my teammates surround "coach" and blabber on about their weekends I just feel uncomfortable. I am rejected because I don't understand the point of this effort, and I land in bad graces because I become the unsociable and shifty looking kid.

When it comes time to get in the water I am a starting player, but I feel that I have to watch my back; I am more disposable because of the coach's personal opinion of me as a person- not a player. I used to get pulled out for nearly every mistake, so now in addition to being paranoid I try to make attempts toward conversation that end up purely political. I feel insincere but I really want to be in the game- regardless of "personality" I have put forth a great deal of effort.

I am trying to be a more honest person but sucking up to authority is just plain contradictory.

I'm an eerily sarcastic person- so even when i'm being sincere or making a simple joke it sometimes comes off the wrong way.

Do I change the way I speak or act to be more socially accessible? I need to be more aware of my words- but can I really change myself?

Some other thoughts-

A question reposed:

Is it worse to write about something you actually care about (albeit overdo the profanities during the process), or B.S your way through each of these blogs. I've tried hard to not do the latter. I've read some truly great blogs and some severely bad ones. We know how to write sentences, capitalize letters, spell things out, yet if you look around there's some thought and effort lacking. What's really the bigger sociological crime? My opinion is clear.

A question I think about:

Is the pain, lack of sleep, and unhappiness I get from playing water polo really worth it? Do high school sports have to be so intense?


Goodnight

Profanity

I don't think that "cussing" is a crime.

Our society has stigmatized profanities for a long time, but I feel that "swear words" have become a part of our common day talk.

Stub your toe, hate traffic, can't find a pencil. We don't react to these situations with a gosh darn, we put in a S*** or F***.

Movies, Music, TV Shows, Basic Conversation: All of these things are littered with profanity.

So why do we still treat something so common as so taboo in school and the workplace?

If we're a sociology classroom then we should respect the social existence of bad words in everyday life.

I don't think writing F*** necessarily makes something coloquial either. If my use of negative language is so "coloquial" then shouldn't half the kids writing in all lowercase letters with crappy (excuse me: poor) grammar be picked on?

I think that bad grammar is a bigger sign of laziness and disinterest in these blogs than a cuss word.

I understand that I have to tone down the S*** because these social standards still stand, and I may have overdone my limit for a school assignment...

Yet, let's face it: Swearing isn't going away.

So why the bad rap?

Is it really that easy?

Morrie made things seem too easy.

Life isn't that simple.

You can't just ignore the whole social construct we have going.

At least that's my take.

Sorry for the half heartedness.

I just didn't like the movie.

Winning

I got into a selective art show that took place today at "The Great Frame Up."

I was extremely proud of my work.

But- I don't win. I am not a winner. I enter contest after contest and regardless of how simple the criteria or the rules I find that I almost always face rejection.

My piece took two months of intensive labor, but a friend of mind walked away with fifty bucks and some honors in my category.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I think I have a bad personality. Maybe i'm just not likeable? I got up to talk about my work, and I think I was the only kid who didn't get a hand shake.

Maybe I give myself too much credit for being good at shit I might suck at...but who knows?

I sure as hell don't.

I hope that later in life my artistic and general endeavours end up with some kind of blue ribbon...be it a pay raise at work or noble prize.

Maybe i'll end up appreciated long after i'm dead- most likely not.

Damn society and their unreasonable opinions toward all of my genius (yeah right).

By the way, if any of you have seen Juno check out the blog of the screenplay writer Diablo Cody. She used to be a stripper, but now I think she's just floating in comic awesomeness.

I feel far too lame to keep this post going so i'm going to try and regroup and remotivate my life.

I need to think of some kind of community service plan that I care about because GIVE seems to be bullshit quite frankly.



Goodnight.